Just happened to read a random blog, and I had all these thoughts flowing again at night. Just so you should know, this post is not going to be a happy one. Granted, I am quite a happy person outside, but then when I'm home alone things change. Especially when I don't have any siblings.. haha. (no one to talk to, such a loner HAHA)

Some of you may be offended when you read this, but it is not my intention to do so. I'm only writing(or typing) down what I really feel.

I know people may feel down, people may feel angry/frustrated/upset/emotional because of certain things. And I can understand. Not everyone is happy 24/7. Of course, who would be? And it's during these times that they need a lot of consoling, comforting, and assurance that everything's going to be okay. I am there for you, if you would open up to me. HAHA not trying to boast about myself or anything but if you're sad I'll really try to cheer you up. I'll panic, I'll become flustered because I'll be thinking of ways to console you. I spend minutes coming up with the perfect(or near perfect) way to phrase my words because certain words can bring certain effects. For example, telling people to 'chill' when they're angry would probably make them angrier. But it doesn't work for me! When people tell me to chill I'd usually become calmer, at least I think so. HAHA. 

However, one thing that makes me angry, is that even though I try so hard to cheer you up, in turn you just get angry at me. And at that point of time I wasn't feeling so great either. Why would you do that? I've read/heard stories from people that experience the same thing too. At least appreciate their efforts in trying to comfort you. You're lucky they even gave a shit about you!! No one is obliged to do anything FOR you. 

The worse part... and um I really don't feel like saying this cos I think people might think I'm referring to them T-T. BUT I have to get this off my chest so I'll say it!! The phrase that I really dislike is "Ok never mind I shouldn't have said that, it's all my fault" I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT IT JUST MAKES ME REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY ANGRY!!!!! DID ALL MY EFFORTS IN COMFORTING YOU JUST GO TO WASTE LOL because this phrase really makes me FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE LOSER I swear.

Sigh. I am so sorry. I really do not want to get angry at you cos I'm suppose to make you people feel better!!! Haha okay I'm sorry this is another stupid post as well. Here's a cute cat video for you to enjoy!

I feel like the lousiest person alive now.
I can't even get shit done cos I'm just SO LOUSY.
FUCK I CAN'T EVEN ORGANISE MY OWN EVENT DETAILS
Everything is in a mess I keep trailing off and forgetting things and shit
Why is it possible that people can know what to do and how to do and be all meticulous and shit, while I'm over here disorganised, stressed, vexed, and feeling like a complete loser?
Why is it that they can just suddenly say something like, "Oh thats easy, do this this this and you have to include this and that and this and that" AND I JUST SIT THERE LIKE, "OHMYGOD WHY AM I SO FUCKING DUMB? AM I A RETARD? HOW COULD I NOT HAVE THOUGHT OF THESE THINGS!?!??!!"
I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY I ALWAYS END UP FAILING
I FAIL IN EVERYTHING I DISAPPOINT EVERYONE
I AM PROBABLY THE LOUSIEST AND SHITTIEST GROUP LEADER AND CLASS REP EVER!!!
WHY DID I HAVE TO DRAG MY FRIENDS INTO THIS SHIT HUH THEY DO NOT DESERVE THIS
I should just fail on my own
There are so many things still undone. I am going to cry and pull my hair out.
I do not have time to blog anymore.
Fuck every single little thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have I mentioned I have not even started studying and exams are next fucking week!?!?!?!??!?!
Hah, ohgod I am going to have a wonderful future.
Please excuse me while I drown in my own sorrow at the corner of unloved dust bunnies.

I need to control I need to control I need to control
Do not touch that do not touch that
Put it back!!!
STOP IT STOP IT
You are irritating
YOU ARE VERY IRRITATING
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I am going crazy.

Eyebrows

Hello I am back with more iPhone photos :P HEHHEHEHE WHAT CAN I SAY? I am too lazy to lug my heavy-ass DSLR out. 

1. We were gazing at the stars on JJ+MEL's birthday celebration @ the jetty. Hehe so romantic right *.* :D

2. I RECEIVED MY NEW CASING!! SOOOO CUTE HEHEHEHE LOVE IT SO MUCH<3 MEOWWWWWWW

3. Aisyah and I saw Pixie Lott! We didn't have the intention of seeing her purposely... We were shopping around the area for Cloud's birthday present and realised she's coming for autograph signing today. So we stayed for awhile to see her. SHE'S REALLY PRETTY AND CUTE OMG. I like her hair!!! :D:D:D 

-We got $2 Hokkaido ice creams, I got my new wolf tee!! So niceee. And also we stood outside a facial shop(?) for 10 minutes discussing what face shape we have and what eyebrows we wanted. LOL it was retarded.

4. My mom bought chocolates. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

5. Photos were from earlier today, went for lunch with Mom, aunt and grandma @ Intercontinental Hotel. A bit disappointed with the food though........................... 

6. YAPZ AND I. Her shit face. Went for BEEF'S basketball match @ Singapore Basketball Centre. Her team was really good omg. And she's super good too its like one minute she's here the next she's ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COURT WTF. AND HER SHOOTS ARE DAMN GOOD. SO SIYI IF YOU'RE READING THIS KNOW THAT YOU ARE DAMN GOOD OK DONT BE DOWN ANYMORE :D (I know you stalk my awesome blog everyday HAHAHAHA)
OK EVEN YAPPY AND CLOUD SAYS YOU ARE DAMN GOOD. WE WERE ALL IMPRESSED SO CHEER UP YOU GOT FANS OVER HERE!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!
I swear the whole time I was watching I was very impressed *.*
Everything was happening so fast while all I did was sit there and clap and scream. 

But before that, I met yapz and we went first cos stupid Cloud was late. Earlier on at home I did extensive research on how to get there... Because I am a direction idiot. So I die die also must get the directions right what. I did get directions, but when we reached there, we went in the wrong way lol.. ok lah its actually my fault cos I really thought I was going in the right way! The GPS on my phone even supported my assumption. The distance was bloody long we walked until SWEAT WAS POURING EVERYWHERE. Then we were stuck outside a mosque. THE FUCKING GPS MARKED THERE AS THE LOCATION. WTF!? ITS A MOSQUE NOT A FREAKING BASKETBALL CENTRE!!!! So anyway luckily we met a kind lady and she told us the directions, etcetc and the bus driver also kindly helped us and cloud too and we finally reached.

Sigh lol I am really bad with directions!!! If I were ever stuck in a forest/jungle and was told to find my way out, I'd just choose to die lol. I feel so useless at that moment it really sucked wtf.

yea. Went to have mcd's after that and I ordered happy meal hehehehehehe SO CUTE RIGHT THE SHEEP <3

Lol I'm really sorry my grammar and vocab fails me whenever I want to type about happy things. I DO NOT KNOW WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 

need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read need to read 

it's all about character baby

There are a lot of things I need. And no not in the materialistic form of way, but I need to improve on my character. Something I thought about deeply just now in the shower. LOL, the shower is a wonderful place.

So here's what I need, and hopefully able to achieve:

1. Be nicer - ok I'm sorry I am very vulgar but that only happens when I like you or I treat you as a super good friend :')

2. STOP being a klutz - I don't really mind the fact that I'm clumsy, but I mind the fact that my clumsiness affects the people around me. OK LIKE W-T-F I'VE CAUSED HOW MANY PEOPLE TO FALL DOWN/FALL OUT OF THEIR CHAIRS/FALL EVERYWHERE FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS!!!! walao eh

3. Become more responsible - I am desperately trying to make sure I get everything done even before the deadline, so I'd feel less stress and shit. However sometimes being a leader is bloody hard and.. "CLAIRE! YOU'RE IN A MESS RIGHT NOW CALM DOWN". Yea. K I GOTTA UP MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND BE MORE ORGANISED LOL.

4. PUNCTUALITY - I think I've improved a lot these few days!!!!! Reaching class even before Lina does is the greatest achievement so far omg. And I'm only late for half an hour for today's 8.30AM lesson!! Usually I'd be late by 1 hr 45min. But anyway it wasn't entirely my fault because I missed 2 buses and 3 trains due to OVERWHELMING crowd and delay in the MRT. SO IF I MINUS ALL THAT, I WOULD'VE REACHED LIKE ON TIME. O-M-G. *pats myself on the back*


OK THAT'S ALL FOR NOW BECAUSE I FEEL LAZY TO CONTINUE SUPER SLEEPY NOW BUT MY HAIR IS BEING AN ASSHOLE, DRYING SO SLOWLY. tsk.